March 11, 2013

Dreaming and other things




















Last night I had one of my recurring bad dreams.

The constants are these: I am frantically trying to get to the airport to make my plane (usually an international flight), and I am running really late. Total chaos ensues.

The variables are the forms of chaos: get lost driving to the airport, can't find gate/ticket info/people I'm flying with, long line at ticket counter and the plane is minutes from take-off, my children are with me and I'm trying to keep track of them, their bags, my bags, etc. It's a very, very stressful dream and I'm always so relieved when I wake up.

In last night's exciting episode I was trying to find the ticket counter and then check a bunch of bags and boxes filled with random stuff. The flight was scheduled to leave in ten minutes and I was a disorganized mess. The boxes weren't sealed, some of my belongings were in plastic grocery bags and I was trying to stuff them into suitcases and duffel bags. There was so much STUFF! I'm talking little plastic toys and dolls, old books and papers, dollar-store trinkets — a bunch of crap, really. It wasn't working. Stuff was falling out everywhere and oodles of it didn't even fit in the bags. Aaaaak!

I woke up, thank goodness, and it was morning.

In the past this dream is all about the flying. I know why I have it — because I HATE flying. HATE! (Yes, I'm yelling.) But this time the part that felt like the bigger stress was all the crap I was carrying.

So I awoke with renewed enthusiasm for purging some of the stuff in my house.

Relinquishing some things is so easy for me, like clothes. I could whittle my wardrobe to a single loin cloth (and maybe a thick robe for winter) without batting an eye. Clothes aren't emotional for me. I don't love them or covet them. That's not to say that I don't enjoy dressing nicely or having nice clothes – I just don't feel attached.

Where my attachments lie are in the little things. Sadly, I now realize, I have a hard time purging all the exact crap I was trying to fit in my luggage — my childhood collection of paper dolls, baby clothes my daughters wore, a collection of tiny painted chairs, hoards of beautiful scrapbook paper, a gallon of shells. Things like that darling little mouse family in the photo above. I love their fuzziness and their little faces. I might miss them if they were gone.

Yikes. I fear there is a canyon-sized gap between me and people who live in those tiny homes.

~

That said, I do plan to make some headway on simplifying this coming week. I may try photographing some of my sentimental possessions, saving the photos and letting the actual items go. The important word there is may. I may part with some things and . . .  I may not. ;)





14 comments:

  1. Hi Jenny, it's so good to see a post from you. I hope you've been well. I am the same way as you - it's the little things I have saved and collected that I really love and they would be so difficult to part with. I have even ended up taking on other people's collections when they've tired of them.

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    1. Thanks Jennifer. Actually both of my girls have had the stomach flu - yuck. Poor things. That's partly what's kept me from posting much. But it's behind us now and I'm hoping to be back to blogging more regularly.

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  2. Dreams do tell us a lot about ourselves don't they! Often it's stuff we don't really care to think about when we're awake..hehe! I've found it's easiest for me to give stuff away when I think it's going to be cherished more by someone else than by me.

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    1. My dreams definitely always seem to tell me things I'm worried about. Sometimes I wake up tired from all the stress!

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  3. Those panic stricken dreams are definately unsettling! I too have them on occasion. It takes a while to regain my bearings and to try to figure out what prompted them. It's usually some sort of underlying stress or worry that I have been carrying around (usually unnecessarily). Purging our treasures can be so hard. It's like throwing away a little part of our life and if we lose the item we might think we lose the memory too. But..that's not true. As one of those people who lives in a very tiny and cozy house(thankful now)..I've been there. I don't miss anything that I have had to purge. The things I could not bring myself to part with and have no useful purpose in my home, have been thoughtfully stored in a few totes and put above the garage or into my cedar chest to be later passed on to family. Good luck in your goal to simplify. It is not as easy as it may seem. penny x

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    1. It's definitely not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm not even trying to get into a tiny house. I'm just trying to clear some room in the storage closet and in my mind. It's still hard!

      It's good to hear you say you don't miss anything. It's a good reminder that the old saying "outta sight, outta mind" is really true. Hopefully that can keep me on the right track.

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  4. Oh my, those dreams are crazy... you wake feeling so unsettled. I hear you on parting with those special little things. It's not going to help either that I just pinned the cutest little crochet dress pattern for those wee mice... :)

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  5. Curses on you Tracy! ;)
    Well, I guess that settles it . . . I will keep them and make them dresses.

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  6. In my nightmare I am due to hand in a paper and never make it across campas to turn it in. #dread full#

    Your last solution mentioned is one I have been thinking about as well. Before my husband died we had the pages of a prized family album photographed and CDs made up for each member of the family so that we could all have a copy. I have a difficult time giving up tactile connections with things, however.

    Have courage, Jenny! Remember the line from Sabrina, "Sometimes more is just...more."

    xx
    Gracie

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    1. I have a recurring school nightmare too. It's finals week in college and I suddenly realize I have a class I've totally forgotten to attend all semester. I need to find the classroom (sooo many buildings and hallways to run through) and take the final. Sometimes there's a locker I need to get into as well and I can't remember the lock combination.

      Love that line from Sabrina. So true. Thanks!

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  7. Aren't dreams strange things? I have really weird arsed dreams. They make no sense whatsoever, sometimes they're almost comical in their absurdity.

    I know what you mean about letting go of crap though. I suffer from the same problem. Mind you, I've been really good these last 6 months.

    However, if those little piggies were in my possession, I wouldn't let go of them. They're just so cute!

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    1. I know, aren't they sweet?! I've decided they're staying. Maybe my grandchildren will enjoy playing with them at Granny's house someday.

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  8. Sometimes I am running from my older sister ;) actually normally stress dreams are always about a math or science test I have to take but for some reason did not study for. I have been out of school for a long time, so I can't believe I still have those.

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  9. Yes, I too struggle to clear out the little things which have no significance to anyone but me. But who says we have to clear them out? Your not hurting anyone by having some boxes of things that provoke happy memories. It's not like you are a hoarder and can't get into your own house and it's affecting your life. Acutally, I've never seen your house - maybe you are a hoarder! ;-)

    My (dreadful) recurring anxiety dream revolves around my masters degree thesis...in my dream i only have 48 hours to do all the reading AND write it. And the printer does not work when I try to print it out with minutes to spare. Shudder.

    Gillian x

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Thank you for your comments. Hearing from you makes my day!